DETAILS HAVE BEEN CHANGED TO PROTECT THE INNOCENT
Here is this weekend’s misadventure:
A 60 year old woman comes into my PT job every time I work there. I am friendly with her, and everyone else who walks through the door.Saturday she purchases a couple of items and on her way out of the door tells me she wants to send me a picture of the living room she’s putting together. The items she purchased that day would be the final pieces she adds to the decor.
My stupid ass replies,”I don’t want a picture. I want a tour.”
She laughs and says, “I’ll send you a picture”, and takes down my number. I thought nothing about giving her my number. The older women who come to my job request it often. They are fond of bringing me lunch and giving me little knickknacks and sage advice. I thought she was that style of older woman. I was wrong, very wrong.
She calls me on my break and peppers me with questions. “How old are you? What side of town do you live on? What kinda car you drive? I know you’re paid.”
I replied, “My break is up, I’ll have to check you later Ma.”
Flash forward to 1AM. I get a call. The person on the other end is breathing heavily. She tells me that she and her daughter have just left a Silk concert and that she would like to arrange a meeting in her bedroom.
I was momentarily intrigued by the prospect of this meeting until I realized who was on the other end of the call.
My face fell to the floor.
“What have I done?”
I tell her that I’m at work, (I was.), and that we should talk about this later.
She’s been blowing up my phone since. I think Obama gave her the launch codes. I can’t even look at my phone without seeing a fresh tet from her or a missed call.
I feel as if it would be against the code for me to not go through with the deed even though I have absolutely no interest in doing so.
No one likes to be led on, and apparently Your Friendly Neighborhood Dash Mane led this honey-blonde low-boy wearing cougar on.
She is certain she has a ticket to ride Dash Mountain.
Because I’m unable to arrive at a decision, I will crowdsource my decision, and allow the readers of this post to decide my fate.